


the shapings we’ve forgotten

by presumenothing (justjoy)



Category: Stay? (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: Gen, HA i get to create a fandom tag for the very first time, based off dirgewithoutmusic's interactive fiction game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27696847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjoy/pseuds/presumenothing
Summary: Work at the magic shop involves less counting than the Archives did, but there are still some figures you know off the top of your head:The number of times you woke up before arriving at this point.The number of empty slots on the relics’ shelves, a mysterious disappearance that still vexes dear old Higgins whenever it’s brought up.The number of curls fading grey on Jo’s head, of causes Suzette takes up fighting for, of colours flickering reflected in Myka’s eyes, of times you glimpse Esteban ducking into an art supplies store or Gemma’s grin as she flies past on horseback.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	the shapings we’ve forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dirgewithoutmusic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirgewithoutmusic/gifts).



> what can i say. i finished dirgewithoutmusic’s [interactive fiction game **“stay?”**](https://ink-splotch.tumblr.com/post/635006703701721088/stay) and my brain just _wouldn’t shut up_ afterwards because the entire narrative hits so many tropes that i am weak for, so here’s a little piece in thanks for an amazing game!! with extra love for jo and myka, who are designated my platonic-married and bff characters respectively.
> 
> spoilers for the game, obvs, so don’t look if you haven’t finished it
> 
> (P.S. i have also written [a thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473067) for [leagues and legends](https://ejadelomax.com/leaguesandlegends/beanstalk/), if you have read the trilogy!! which you totally should)

**i.**

Work at the magic shop involves less counting than the Archives did, but there are still some figures you know off the top of your head: 

The number of times you woke up before arriving at this point.

The number of empty slots on the relics’ shelves, a mysterious disappearance that still vexes dear old Higgins whenever it’s brought up.

The number of curls fading grey on Jo’s head, of causes Suzette takes up fighting for, of colours flickering reflected in Myka’s eyes, of times you glimpse Esteban ducking into an art supplies store or Gemma’s grin as she flies past on horseback. 

(The first two stay static, but the last ticks ever upward and upward again and you are breathless with the joy of it.)

* * *

**ii.**

You chose history, in this life – your final life, technically, but that doesn’t really feel like the right word for it because there is nothing of finality in these days you worked so hard to wake up in.

You’re not sure there _is_ an appropriate word for it in Elaian, actually. Fiore might have had one, but yours is a civilisation steeped in forgetting, even now. Mr. Tate had been right about that. 

Everything feels final when you have no history to look back on.

But you also recall Myka calling Elaia the city of history, of remembering, and perhaps all these things aren’t completely unconnected. It’s one of the things you’ve mused over during afternoon chats with her once, whether the loss of your sister city sent your own teetering loose in some fundamental way, even though her surprise when you quoted those memory-worn words suggests that they aren’t ones she’s said to you in this lifetime.

(Sorting out the threads of your lives is a problem, sometimes. Jo helps where they can, is endlessly patient in helping you unwind people and place, but you still do slip up, especially with these faces you have known in every shade from university to death to a war that never happened.

You’ll tell the others someday, when you’ve figured out how to, but if Jo is your pillar then Myka is your wildcard; you would not put it past her to have figured it out before then.)

* * *

**iii.**

“Have you ever regretted it?” Jo asks, with the light frown of concentration they always have when making sure to get the tea just right. “Staying here, in this life.”

The words shake you out of a post-workout stupor; just because you didn’t major in combat this life doesn’t mean you’ll let yourself fully slack off on it. “What? Jo – ”

They wave it off with clear eyes. “I don’t mean it that way. But like you said – you changed something in every life you went through, didn’t you? So what if you hadn’t stayed?”

You bite your lip, curl your hands around the cup of tea Jo hands you, and think. 

Could you ever regret staying in this life? No, and you know it, not with the war averted and the land healed and the warmth of Jo’s hands in yours blossoming with whatever this is between you (another thing Elaian doesn’t have a word for).

But is there anything else you would’ve changed?

Yes, of course: you wish that Fiore had never needed to be sunk, and one day after you tell Myka you will also ask if she can look into what exactly that stone did, because sometimes you still lie awake at night wondering if all those worlds continued existing even after you woke up, if all is right in just this world but none of the others.

But none of that has ever been within your ability to change, and you realise with a laugh that the other thing you _do_ want most isn’t within reach, either – to make it so that this wouldn’t have happened to that Jo, your other Jo from that very first lifetime, fierce and exhausted and so earnest. 

_Time for me to stay_ , they’d said, but it hadn’t been regret in their eyes and it’s not regret in yours now either. 

“I’m done changing things in worlds that won’t last,” you say, and mean _ask me, just ask me to stay and I will._

And Jo must read your mind, or maybe just read you, because their smile isn’t wide but it crinkles the corners of their eyes nonetheless. “Well, then. How do you feel about getting a cat?”


End file.
